My name is Carly Jones and I’m 24 years old and I am a mother of two beautiful boys aged 5 and 2 of whom I spend most of my days running after them even though we are worlds apart.

I know this might seem difficult to understand but believe me this is hard and very emotional to explain…

It all started at the tender age of 18, when I met this boy, but unbeknown to me this love was to shatter any hopes, dreams and stability had in store at this young age.

At the beginning I can clearly say my naivety controlled me, I was blinded by love and who wouldn’t be an army lad sweeping me off my feet, making me feel special. Things began to move quickly, we met in the August and by the December he had already proposed to me, at that time there was accusations that he may or may not have recently cheated on me with a close friend…Not knowing the truth I carried on the way things were, besides that his charming ways and words would always win me back…Lies and webs of deceit just a way of life now.

By June 2001 I started feeling unwell. I went to the Doctors and it was there they told me I was about 8 weeks pregnant, 7 months later I gave birth to my beautiful son Sol. I had recently found out that my partner had been caught sleeping with an underage girl and the stress of it nearly caused me the loss of my baby. As well as that I found out that he who had claimed he was British by birth was in fact born in Dorsten in Germany. Even though looking back now it would have been best to have just walked away taking my baby with me, for the sake of Sol I decided to stay. In the next couple of weeks we moved in together, he started paying less attention to Sol, missing feeds, not getting up to comfort him or even to change him. This made me question his love for Sol, what was wrong with him? What had Sol done wrong? He’d purposely stayed out until Sol was in bed asleep. I couldn’t cope on my own, I couldn’t understand what was going wrong. This led towards me having post natal depression and having to watch my little boy taken away from me. Three months later he was placed back in our care, only for my partner to decide he’s fallen in love with some girl in Germany and was going to leave us… probably the best decision he had ever made u may think and so did I at the time. He left and I tried to piece my life back together with Sol in my care. Two months later he rang me, yet again his charm won me over but this time he used sol as ammunition. I decided to give it another go so I packed my bags, left in secret and got the next flight out.

We stayed with his Mum and Dad so we could save some money to put towards a house but not that he was very good at saving, he even spent the money that was meant to feed and put clothes on his own sons back on x rated DVDs. His mental abuse was at its all time high, locking us in, constantly accusing me of cheating, stopping me from going to classes to learn German, taking my account card off me and withdrawing all my money, forging my name, taking my mail and even shouting at me when I rang home. Our monthly money to live on would be spent on stuff which we really didn’t need, resorting in me and Sol having to stand outside in a queue to beg for food from a van that gave away the shops produce that would shortly be out of date.

Yet again, feeling unwell I visited the Doctor again to be told that I was 4 weeks pregnant. I was both happy and devastated at the same time as I couldn’t ever see a way of breaking free of this relationship, especially with one son and another child on the way. My second beautiful son Reece was born 7 months later and was 8 weeks premature. My partner tried to get me to sign full custody of Reece over to him. Nobody was interested in Sol anymore in Germany since Reece was born as Reece was seen as the true German son and Grandson. I tried to pay more attention to Sol so that he wouldn’t feel left out. Shortly after their Dad began selling some of Sol’s belongings like his battery powered car which neither Sol nor I was happy with. He spent the money on stuff we didn’t need again and I stayed up all night with Sol whole he cried over his car. I was on the beginning of a nervous breakdown I have been told. One night Reece was in hospital after having breathing difficulties so I was spending nights at hospital

With Reece and days at home with Sol. One day I returned and the house was a complete mess. My partner and I had a massive argument. He took Sol away from me proclaiming you will never see either of your sons again. I sat alone and cried, a broken woman. The only two good things to come out of this complete mess and he had taken them away from me. I gathered together all the paracetamols I could find in the house and swallowed them all with the water, leaving a note on the table for my boys telling them how they should never blame themselves for my mistakes and though we may be worlds apart, I will always love them very much.

As you can tell I survived and under the advice of many Doctors I was to be surrounded by people that would care for me and make me strong again, strong in mind, body and soul, strong enough to fight for my kids so I came back to England alone. It has been two years now since I was parted from my children and the fight and hope for my right to be a normal mother to them still goes on. He has split my sons up giving Sol to his parents and putting Reece into care then attempting to put him up for adoption…I am running out of time, I need to get them back. I had a solicitor who recently was sacked for pocketing the money but not doing any work on my behalf against the case this was paid through legal aid. Now I struggle to find the finances to pay for a solicitor who has the correct knowledge in family law, immigration and knowledge of German Law and to my mind there is not a solicitor in the world that deals with all three fields and accepts legal aid. The solicitor I have decided to help me run my case aside costs £235 per hour, I know it seems little money to pay in comparison to winning my children back, but in the September of 2005 I was diagnosed with cervical cancer which due to chemotherapy I was just too weak to work… and in this evil twist of fate I can no longer have children…the only thing that keeps me going is the dream that one day I might be able to cook Christmas dinner for my boys around a big table knowing that they are home with me to stay. He took my hopes, my dreams and my stability but he will not take my boys. Like I said at the beginning I am a mother who runs after her children though they are worlds apart and I will keep running after them until the day I die. I write to you to ask for help, I am a lost woman in a broken world and need to find the help, advice and support to get my sons back.

Back in early 2006 I went to one of my three monthly appointments at Clatterbridge to see how I was doing after my treatments of chemotherapy and radiotherapy and I was finally told that I had the all clear, I was ecstatic as I could once again concentrate on getting my children back where they belonged, at home with their mother. Back in August 2006 I began to get aches and pains again in my shoulder this time but to cut a long story a little bit shorter I was diagnosed a couple of weeks back, on Valentines Day actually, that my cancer has returned, only this time in my left lung. I’m told that the tumour has attached itself onto the vertebrae of my spine and due to this my cancer is terminal. Treatable but never curable.